This is not the season for being maudlin, but for the past several days, I've been helping a friend deal with the death of her mother. It's been heartbreaking watching a dear lady waste away under the ravages of cancer, and watching my friend suffer the loss of her beloved mom. They've known she was terminal for nearly a year, but what a fighter! She lived over 6 months longer than her doctors predicted.
One thing that made me sad and anxious was observing that, even though they knew this was coming, her condition deteriorated more rapidly than expected and no one had discussed her final wishes. When she passed, the family didn't know what kind of casket she'd want, or what flowers or music she might prefer, what clothes she might want to wear or anything.
Some folks might fear that asking about a loved one's final wishes will make her give up, or make her feel that you are anticipating her death. So it's up to each of us to spare our families that extra grief and make our wishes known to our loved ones.
This episode made me decide that I needed to think these things through, even though I'm relatively young and healthy. You never know when your time might come and it's not fair to your loved ones to be left to make decisions under the crushing grief of your passing.
So this holiday season, I will be thinking about how I want to die. I love planning parties, so why not make my last a great one? How about this: Instead of flowers, ask able-bodied mourners to commit to participating in the fundraising charity event of their choice? I'll need to think this through...
In the meantime, I'm going to remember a lady who was always kind, thoughtful, generous and giving: Another angel got her wings this Christmas. Rest in peace, Robbie.
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